This is the end of my first day without talking to you, I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, I can’t stop thinking about you, I still remember our first kiss like it was yesterday. I gave you my heart and you shattered it into pieces. You were my best friend, I trusted you with everything, but then, you started to treat me like crap, you were right, you don’t deserve my love. I hate you, I wish I could stop loving you, I never thought you would do this to me. I wish you loved me like before, I wish I told you about my feelings before you move. The most sad part of this is that if you asked me to come back to you, I would.
I never loved anyone like I love you. Now that you’re gone I don’t have any reason to feel happy or proud in my life. Every time I close my eyes I can feel your kiss and see you smile. I loved making you happy, but you don’t make me happy anymore. My heart still tells me to not give up, that things will be different, but I know they won’t be. Maybe when you come back in July you will love me once more, or at least tell me that so you don’t feel lonely since you don’t talk to your old friends anymore or to get in my pants. Oh the sex, I’m writting this from my bed, I can still remember how you kissed my body, how you held me, the way you looked at me. I also remember the first day since you got back, when I was at the airport waiting for you, and our kiss, all of our kisses. But now its gone, everything gone.
I already told you this before, at the last time we spoke: you will always, always have my heart, even though you broke it. Thank you for loving me as anyone ever did. Sorry if I wasn’t good enough for you. I wish things were like before. Every once in a while I pick up my phone and try to send you something so we could speak again, but everytime I open our chat and I see how mean you were to me I instantly close it. I wanted to ask you if you missed me, in fact I’m asking you right now. Well, I think you are sleeping, you are taking a long time to answer, how can you sleep??
I’m debating if I should send this or not, everything here is really personal and I would hate if you commented on this letter, but probably you would just make fun of it.
Now I wait until you wake.