Where do I go from here?

Where do I go from here?

Where do I go from here?

I don’t even know where to begin. We started off as best friends and out of that blossomed our relationship. I always felt though that i loved a little more, cared a little more, was there a little more, talked a little more. Despite that, i stayed just hoping that you would show me more that you cared, that losing me would be a great loss in your life that you couldn’t deal with. i wanted the fairy tale love, flowers, showers of kisses, the whole nine. But I always felt like i wasnt the  true love of your life.

Your friends were always before me, you never talked when i wanted you to, and it seemed like i wasnt enough for you. So, i had had enough and i made mistakes that i regret and i left you for someone that i thought was my TRUE love. I was wrong and that was a terrible decision with terrible consequences as we both know. Even when i was with him, i couldn’t stop loving you, no matter what WRONGS that i FELT that you had done to me. So i reached out to you first. I realized that although you made mistakes i was far from the perfect girlfriend even though i acted like i was.

I was pushy, naggy, and little crazy to be honest. Nevertheless, now we’re back to the best friends that we once were, but i’m still so in love with you. It’s hard because i know that you dont trust me with your heart since i’ve left you to dry in the past and i dont want to be pushy with you like i used to be. It’s just been really hard that your in my life, but we’re not together. i’ve sat and waited to find out where we’re headed from here so i know whether to really take my heart back from you, or if this time that you need to heal.

I must admit though it seems at times that you just keep me around for the benefits without the commitment, that you just always want me to proclaim my love for you and you not saying anything back like the past. It hurts and i just want to be happy whether that’s with or without you. I’ve come to realize that i just need to move on, if you really wanted this now then you would let me know no matter how hard it is for you to talk about your feelings. it’s not like i haven’t given you plenty of opportunities. So i will give you space to fully heal and find happiness, and i will focus on bettering myself and working on my weaker qualities. I’m really sorry for the hurt that i’ve caused you and i just want to move foward.


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