Things i wish i had said

Things i wish i had said

Things i wish i had said

LTME postDear S,

It’s been nearly 6 months since we split and I thought that I’d be over this, at times I feel like I am, but this past week it’s been hard.

I’ll start off by saying sorry from the deepest parts of my soul for just walking out during our last night in TPE together, I wasn’t thinking straight and I let anger lead me. We had something special, I always knew that, we could make anything fun and laugh so hard together is was criminal. I wanted to tell you that you were always enough for me even though you said that I made you feel you weren’t. I’m just not good about expressing my feelings well for that I’m sorry. From Januray onwards I fell in love with you so much more and I felt your love grow too. We didn’t communicate how we felt very well, I guess that comes from both being hurt in the past.

I loved telling you how beautiful you were, I loved hungover snuggles in the boat and I loved your smile and your laugh. Most of all I loved the way you looked at me, it would melt my soul and for those moments I was invincible. Our passion was immense fire and a burning for each other like I’ve never felt before. Thank you. I know it hasn’t been easy for you to go through this either, just know that I loved you like I have loved no other before and I’ve never had a best friend like you either. You’re an amazing human being, smart, beautiful, playful with a big heart, I’m glad I met someone like you.

I know we will find other people and move forward into other lives and make them our homes, whether temporary or permanent. I wanted you to know that this home adored the hell out of you and I’m sorry I couldn’t relay that in the right way. Lessons have been learned tears cried, but the memories of time spent together whether it be on a beach in our tropical paradise, random weekends away or just getting crazy drunk and acting like fools (loosing all the beer pong balls), these memories are precious to me and they are mine and yours. I’ve missed you terribly I’ve had moments of sheer joy where you turn up at my door or you text me out of the blue to pick you up at the airport, both where we just hold each other tightly saying everything without speaking a word not wanting to let go of each other. Only to be crushed by the realisation it was just a dream.

I want nothing but the best for you now and in the future dear. Go forward and live your life the doors you can choose are endless, I hope you find something amazing 🙂



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