Butterflies don’t drown

Butterflies don’t drown

Butterflies don’t drown

LTME postDo you remember the story I told you about learning to water ski? I wanted so badly to be successful that I wouldn’t give up. Even after I lost my skis and was dragging with my head under water I wouldn’t let go of the rope. Grandpa had to shut the boat off to keep me from drowning. I’ve lived my whole life that same way. Twenty three years of marriage, I think we both know it wasn’t blissful, and I wouldn’t give up trying because I didn’t want to fail. When you filed for divorce you rescued me from drowning. It was the equivalent of shutting off the boat and I want to say thank you.

I can’t say I’m not hurt and angry that you filed for divorce. I feel like you should have put in an equal effort into our marriage to make it work, and that you chose the easy way out. I also know, now, that what you did was the best thing you could have done for me. I now have the chance to find real love and real happiness. The divorce process has forced me to look inside myself, to learn about myself, and to blossom into the new (and improved) person that I am becoming.

I tried very hard to take the high road all through the divorce and beyond. I always considered the long-term benefit of doing or not doing, saying or not saying, and behaved accordingly despite what the emotional devil on my shoulder was saying. I can see, now, that you basically did the same thing, even if I don’t agree with the choices you made. I appreciate that you are there for the kids. I appreciate that you are willing to work with me to do what is best for everyone (even if you didn’t bother doing so when we were married).

I hope that with time the hurt that is still deep inside me will eventually surface and evaporate. It is then that I will be able to truly forgive you, and it is then that we can become a new type of family for our children.


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