I don’t even know where to begin because there is so much I just want to say.
The first year with you was amazing. I got to learn how to love someone entirely and someone to love me. I would consider that to be the happiest point in my life. However, the last year with you wasn’t so good. I was always so scared for you to leave me. I never felt secure. I was very jealous because I didn’t get enough love from you. It was always half of what I was giving you. But I didn’t care how much it would hurt me. All was on my mind was I cant lose you. I was so in love with you.
To the point I didn’t recongize all the signs that you were giving me. I was always so scared to lose you that it totally never crossed my mind that you were so unhappy the last few months.
As I sit here today and look back. I can pin point moments where I didn’t deserve the way you treated me or should have gotten more. You were talking to another girl and flirted with her while with me… Saying to her friends that you were dating her. I STAYED. I then find out that you liked one of my best friends too. That made me so angry that you could do such a thing to me. It made me so angry to hear the things you said and do the things you do.
See now. That’s where I go wrong.. I should have left the second you frowned upon me because that wasn’t fair and that was not love anymore. That’s where I need to recongize we are better off without eachother because with eachother we are toxic. I am too good for you. I loved you unconditionally and you used it against me… Every last drop. We did things. I did things that I regret more than anything in this world. I reacted badly when I found out you were with her… I didn’t even know what to do. I’m sorry for that.
However, no matter what the break up was. How terrible it is. I want the best for you. I care for you enough to realize now that whatever makes you the happiest person-even if it’s with the girl I hate- you should do what you want. I will always love you.
One last thought,