I’m here in CT, sitting next to my bff shaila. She has absolutely no idea that I’m writing this. I am feeling awfully tired at the moment but that has no affect on what I’m about to say. I don’t write much unless I feel absolutely prompted to. I just wanna sing a ballad rn but I have no practice room and no other way to release these feelings I’m feeling. I can’t stop thinking about you. You’ve crossed my mind literally every single second I’ve been on this break. When you don’t reply but you tweet, it’s like glass shards into my heart. I know I hurt you a lot throughout our relationship and I can’t even begin to tell you how sorry I am for all of that. I had a month of being angry and resentful toward you only because I wanted you so badly in my life. I didn’t realize it till a month later after noises off closed and I felt empty out of nowhere. I see you in everything I do. When I’m singing a song in my voice lesson, eating hot cheetoes, wearing your favorite sweatshirt of mine, the scent of you that still lingers in my mind. I want so badly for you to hold me and tell me everything is gonna be okay. Before our huge fight I was gonna tell you that I am falling for you, Patrick. And I still am. I would do anything for one last day with u. I took everything for granted and I hope one day you can forgive me. I miss you like crazy.