April 10 2018 (Tuesday) 10:27pm
It has been awhile since we properly had a conversation. I am writing this to tell you that I miss you. Even though we are not together anymore, the experiences we gave each other is something that I would definitely remember and it cannot be replaced. They are memories that I will endlessly cherish for the rest of my life. Sometimes I look back and my mood completely changes, feeling all types of emotions but no matter what I miss them. I realized that you have been and continue to shape the person I am and will be. Although, we are no longer in each other lives, I know there was a reason why we crossed paths. It wasn’t because we went to the same school, or because we enjoyed the same things, but because we taught each other things no other person could teach us. We taught each other what it’s like to have someone be your world, what it’s like to be in a relationship, what it was like to be so angry at someone but still work through all the problems we had, we taught each other love, we felt what it was like to be loved unconditionally but most importantly YOU taught me to love what I have before life teaches me to love what I have lost. I learned that when I lost you, I realized how many times I’ve hurt you and the unnecessary things that I have done. You didn’t deserve me, you never did. But god I am proud to say that months and months of sadness and regret I have learned my lesson and you are the reason I changed. And even though we won’t get to be together for a long time like we dreamed when we were younger, part of my heart will always be with you, not because I am still in love with you, but because I still love you, and a piece of my heart will always be yours just like I promised you. We no longer get to talk and ask how each other’s day went every day, but that doesn’t mean I don’t still wonder how you are doing. How you’ve been, how life is been treating you, if you are still doing the things that you love, how your love life is doing, your family and most importantly If you are happy. It hurts whenever I see you and pretend that we are strangers and I get to witness your laugh, your smile and the way you talk about things with other people. It took a great amount of time to get used to the fact that you are no longer a part of my life, maybe in time I can truthfully say that I have moved on completely. I still secretly look forward to the occasional text from you to catch up, still look forward to the days we might grab some food together and talk about our lives. Talk about our dreams, our aspirations, and our new relationships. I look forward to seeing that you have found another girl that makes you happy. A girl that challenges you to be a better person, a girl that enjoys the same things you do, a girl that brings a smile to your face, and a girl that will love you more than I’ll ever will. A girl that brings the best out of you and inspires you to do what you love to do. Because I know that a person like you deserves the very best. In 20, 30 years from now I still want to run into to you, to see that you have acquired everything I had ever hoped for you. Because even though we were lovers at one point, we were also best friends. But despite for all of this here’s to all the heart felt messages we sent, the long phone calls at 3 in the morning, the small trips we took together, the unnecessary things we’ve given just to make each other happy, the way you pull me closer letting everybody know that I am yours, the best hugs that I have ever received that I took for granted, the kisses that never fails to flatter and race my heart, our promises and inside jokes, the sing along together, the deep conversations especially about what the fuck is the meaning of life, here is to the endless laughs and smiles we shared, and the tears we shed for each other, the fights we’ve been through and most importantly here is to breaking each other’s hearts. Not because we hate each other or don’t love each other anymore, but because we knew that our time together was over. Thank You.