You used to take away my troubles and at the same time, you would leave pain. It’s currently May 15 and the last time I spoke to you in a loving way was May 4th. The days seem to be going by so slow and I am not sure if I’m alone in saying this but I truly do miss you. I know I broke up with you at first but after you got out of jail you left me. What happened in that time idk. I wish I knew but you said it was better for us to be apart and I still can’t agree with you. I just can’t. A part of me still wants to see our promises of living under the same roof and having children come to fruition. I don’t think that will happen anymore. Something about this particular breakup seems like it’s the real thing. I have conflicted feelings about our separation, I am sure it could be nice to meet someone someday again who will fuck me proudly without making me feel guilty for wanting them. I guess it would be nice to not have my guy tell me things about how they were never attracted to me, or how they don’t like my shitty attitude. I guess it would be nice to not have such a jealous boyfriend who makes me feel like I am some hoe and always accuses me of it. I am not going to sit here and blame you for everything. I did a lot of things that were fucking shitty. I cheated once, I also said bullshit that made you feel insecure.
We both played a part in the ending and bad relationship we had for three years, we both were very broken people. We still are currently broken and I did something bad by allowing my manic love to break into your social media accounts and reading everything you said to your friends about me. You’re also talking to new girls which is good I guess, I hope you don’t rush into a relationship.
Something I don’t understand about people is why when they are broken they try to heal their wounds in others. I have done that too so I wouldn’t really judge. I might do that, not now of course but when the time is ready and I need some sex ill probably go seek it. For now, I will cry when I need to and work on my fitness, I committed to running daily on my treadmill. I have also been focusing on my homework more. I will miss you so much, baby. I hope those few great memories I have of you will never leave. Take care, treat yourself right. Stop smoking, stop drinking, go back to school. I will do the same, my love, I promise.
Yours truly, Gatita.