I know we’re over

I know we’re over

I know we’re over

Dearest Rayan,
I know we’re over. I know that a day will come when your face will wipe off my memory, your fingers will stop touching my palms, and your lips will never be felt, and I will forget that I ever wanted you to be mine. I know I will lock your secrets deep inside of me and I know that one day, I’ll move on far enough to forget the colour of your eyes and the way they burned into me.

I know we’re over but I cant help but imagine what would it have been to love you. If you would’ve let me. If you would’ve not chosen her over me. If you could’ve understood that I prefer your face over the sunsets any day. I imagine being so familiar to your chest that the beats could become the music to my ears. I imagine getting used to loving you so much, not just in the beginning. I imagine me wearing your shirts and never having to remember the smell of your cologne because it will always stick to my skin like a fresh memory. I imagine long car rides, mid-day naps and trips to the beach and your body tangled in my sheets.

But I have to stop because we’re over, I know you chose her and there is nothing I can do to change your mind and show you how it could all have been different with me. It makes me so sick of thinking about her body in your arms, and her sitting beside you in the car resting her head on your chest and feel the warmth that I crave and I feel your hand moving gently across her hair like a gun shot wound.

But I know we’re over, and I never wanted it to be. And yes I want to scream at you, and cry at you, and crumble into your arms to let you know what immense pain is it, all of it, from the beginning to right this point, there wasn’t a moment you were not on my mind, but you chose her. And even though I didn’t wanted things to be this way, I’ll have to accept it. And from the bottom of my heart, although I’m hurt I want you to reach to happiness. I hope your heart becomes a kinder place and I hope you always glitter with your eyes and throw sparks with your smile, and I know we’re over, but you’ll always be my forever love!


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