I still remember the cute and joyful way in which we used to express our feelings through letters. I sent a letter via a shuttlecock to u. (That was damn funny and innocent). But then u see i don’t know from where i started getting these bad thoughts about u and the way u reacted to things (all that negative shit).
Plus I myself was confused about pursuing pcm and going to kota and all of a sudden my father told that i have made the arrangements and u will be going to kota in 4 days. Those 4 days were the most confusing days of my life and i acted stupidly in those conditions for which i am sorry. I was going through puberty, peer pressure and what not! I even abused u and i am ashamed of it. U were gone for the yatra and all then one day u told me that ur elder brother knew about us. So u see this was kind of a chain of actions which lead to us breaking apart and i think that is all my fault and want to again apologize for that (If u want then i can apologize on net or anything u say just try to understand my thought process over here).
Then in the next 4 to 5 days i was shifting to kota and trying to forget everything by blaming it on u! But after that i was kind of broken cause i could not see u smile and laugh like u always did. but i was still blaming it all on u so i started talking isha and stuff happened but tell me one thing, do u think that the Isha episode had any sense?? It was all foolish and rubbish. I was just trying to settle it in. Plus that kirti bro of mine was making me more angry on u by asking me to abuse u and do stuff but deep inside i know that i was just a kid and u were also a kid. But the way u handled the situation is just awesome but i came out to be a loser.
I just want to say that when i made a proposal of getting back i don’t know some time ago that was from my heart. It’s impossible for me to forget u whenever I see u i am in tears and trust me while writing this mail i am crying I swear on my late grandmother.
I even lost my grandmother this December. U were one of the greatest thing that ever happened to me!!!!!Really! I miss u, i miss talking to u, acting in a weird way, U Calling me weirdo, making u laugh at what i thought were silly jokes but u laughed for me. I miss that letter writing, talking to u late at night. Plus let me make it very clear back then i was just a teen going through hormonal changes and wanting to please myself but now i feel that line of JB’s song fits here”Cause I am missing more than just ur body”.
I have made a whole bunch of new friends and have had 2 relationships but i was not ready for them. I am just missing u so so so much. EVEN TODAY I SEARCHED ON THE NET THAT HOW CAN WE FORGET ABOUT OUR EX -it showed i f u really care about her and miss her then msg her.
It’s like i have everything all money addictions and stuff but i am missing out on something and that is u u and u .
So would like to end this mail by saying that “The day u came to your house and asked me to be ur friend. It was the best and most luckiest day in my life. “Love u Miss u
I want to let u know that i Love u from my heart and right now i miss u and love like never before .
I have nobody hug while i am crying .I need somebody to be with who is the older u – free, bold awesome just lovely.
U can show this msg to whoever u want i don’t care but i just wanted express my feelings which have not died since the last 3 years!!
Ignore spelling mistakes my tears are what tell the importance of this mail.
Sorry to whoever i hurt just let me be again the younger me!!!
Missing u so so so much
I don’t know how late u will read this but i wanted to express my feelings in front of god and have done .I have faith in god that u will read this no matter what happens
I needed someone who could make me normal or stop all the confusion in my mind .Somebody to talk but u were away on your padyatra which is also a good thing
But i needed someone and that us why i just f**ked up!
Your and only yours!