Did I deserve it?

Did I deserve it?

Did I deserve it?

You ruined the relationship with the love of my life, or maybe I did. I let you come between us and it took away 2 years of the time that I could’ve had with him. I was supposed to lose it to him and I lost it to you. And not only did you take my virginity, you took my heart and broke it into a million pieces. You took the best of me and destroyed it, and I let you. 

But at first, it was magical. You made me smile and laugh like no one else could, and I felt so comfortable with you. But after one time of you cheating, you ruined that fairy tale and I still believed that I could fix it. But then you did it again. And everyday I think, “What if I listened to Danny and stayed away from him?” But I didn’t listen and I suffered the consequences.

The constant heart break and feeling of self loathing and constantly feeling like I’m never gonna be good enough, follows me everyday even after a year. But, what hurts the most is how I trusted you when I knew you shouldn’t be trusted because I just wanted to prove I made a good decision by being with you. But then you slept with one of my best friends, and acted like nothing ever happened. YOU LIED STRAIGHT TO MY FACE SO MANY TIMES and I listened to every single one taking in every single syllable you said and turned it around on myself because you told me I was just “paranoid.”

You know what I went through, you know how much I hated myself. I already felt like I deserved nothing and you proved me right.
I’m still hurting and I just want to know if I deserved this. Did I do something wrong in the world or does someone out there hate me so much that they chose this person to come into my life and destroy my dignity and self worth? You were supposed to be the one person I could trust but instead you were the one who broke it.


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