Of course I must write……
Now that we are at the end of this journey together I would be remiss if I did not lay out on the table that throughout this entire separation I have felt completely discarded by you and every conversation that has been had with me has felt truly heartless.
I have felt like I have been talked to like I am a problem and not a person with whom you shared a life with.
I can’t seem to understand the amount of malice that has been shown towards me and the need you have to burn bridges and to act as if dismissing women is simply nothing.
Relationships do not have to end in hatred and fire.
Even given how this has all played out I feel that I have been nothing but respectful and polite during our interactions almost to a fault.
I know that situations have happened in the past few weeks that you might have felt were intentionally done to hurt you and I want you to understand that this is not the case even regarding the moving/packing items in and of itself.
To be fair I believe you and I both feel we are victims in all of this and I believe that has clouded multiple circumstances.
I appreciate everything you have done for me during our relationship so much so that I continued to show that appreciation to the very end by not being hostile and hurtful no matter how you continued to treat me after ending us.
Whether this was lost in translation, misconstrued via text messages, or confusion came off as lies; I have made no attempt to take a stab at you, to purposely stretch this out, to deceive you, and more than anything I never wanted you to feel used, lied to, or as if you were being walked all over.
I am starting my life over and there were too many cooks in the kitchen helping me to put my pieces back together during a very stressful and scary moment in my life which led to much confusion and missteps on my behalf.
I am aware that you have this need to move on and to do so quickly but I feel that empathy could have been shown especially with you knowing that I am starting my life over at absolute zero.
To be completely transparent, I have come to terms that we will agree to disagree about the way you approached the ending of our relationship, the timeline that led up to it, as well as the timeline that followed and no matter how much self reflection I do and even when I continue to place myself in your shoes I still feel this should have been handled differently and I cannot shake feeling betrayed by my fiancé, the man I shared my life and future with, Riddick’s Dad, and more than all of that- a friend I’ve known for almost 17 years.
We deserved a better goodbye and contrary to what you believe I did not see this coming.
I feel you holding nothing but resentment, contempt, and hate for me and it’s crazy for all of this to end with such an incredible amount of anger.
Whether it means anything to you or not, I just want to let you know that I have not and continue to hold no anger or hostility on my side and I hope that someday you can see that I never had ulterior motives or was purposely malicious while we were tying up our loose ends.
Hell….not at any point in time while we were together did I ever want you to feel this way.
I hope as time passes you remember that I am not this villain that you have painted me to be in your mind.
I only wish this had ended differently with some acknowledgment to the life we shared and created together even though that life had to come to an end for the better of both of us.
Thank you for the sacrifices you made, the memories you gave, and I am grateful for the time we had together.
I genuinely wish you well in life.